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Effective Feedback: Why it is the Key to Making Progress

May 2, 2020 By Mehrnaz Bassiri

When I started my tutoring company, MyGradeBooster, in my late 20’s I didn’t have a background in business, marketing, or sales. All I knew was how to teach. I had a lot of learning to do. To help me be successful in starting up and growing my tutoring business I started reading and researching. I borrowed as many books as I could on sales and marketing books from the library and tried to implement the strategies I read. One of the strategies I saw popping up regularly was to approach other businesses and partner with them.

 

I contacted the largest educational consultant in the city that helped high school students with their university and college applications. Since they didn’t offer academic tutoring I thought they would be a perfect strategic partner. Somehow I managed to convince the founder of the company to meet with me. At the meeting she told me she was impressed with my persistence. We talked about how her son attended a private school and I should be targeting private school parents, but then she then told me that if she found my website online she wouldn’t sign up her son for my services.

 

I was taken aback and felt uncomfortable but kept my composure and asked her why. Her reasons had to do with lack of credibility, testimonials, or adequate information. Direct negative feedback is hard to hear. I wanted to defend myself but I resisted the temptation. I merely thanked her for her helpful suggestions. Then I went home and started working on my website. In a month I had updated my website with a video testimonial from current clients, more information about our tutoring methods and strategies, and worked on gaining credibility for the company through business recognition and awards.  That one negative comment made me more motivated and determined to succeed as I implemented her suggestions for improvement.

 

Today, MyGradeBooster is an award-winning tutoring company with authority and credibility in the education community. Feedback is a powerful tool to help us continually grow and develop. It’s difficult to clearly see our own strengths and weaknesses and usually it takes an outside perspective to paint a clear picture. I didn’t have to take the feedback, I could have easily dismissed it and let my ego get in the way. But instead, I decided to see her as a target client and take her feedback as a gift to improve myself and my business.

 

Effective feedback can substantially boost our performance and put us on the road to success. Get in the habit of seeking feedback from those you trust and respect, especially if they are your target market. And as hard and discouraging as negative feedback is, set your ego aside and work on improving your game. With hard work and dedication to improvement, you’re bound to be successful.

Filed Under: Featured In Tagged With: achievement, constructive criticism, feedback, goals, progress

One Life Lesson that Expedites Progress (Exponentially)

May 2, 2020 By Mehrnaz Bassiri

There are life lessons that if learned and applied, can change the trajectory of your life and solidify the foundation of your growth. I learned my biggest life lesson in 2005 while I was in graduate school working on my chemistry master’s thesis. It’s a lesson on being a keen observer and how we can use the power of observations to cut through the noise, gain greater clarity, and expedite our success.

 

Completing a Master’s of Science in North America typically takes a couple of years. The first year focuses on coursework. My classmates and I attended classes, wrote tests, and completed projects. In the second year we split up into our perspective research groups and worked on our individual thesis projects in the laboratory. We had one year to complete a research project and write about our results.

 

One year is not a very long time to work on a chemistry project. Often I spent a few days on an experiment only to find that it didn’t work and I needed to try a different approach. The good news was that there were others in my group working with similar types of compounds – small sugars with somewhat similar functional groups. Although our research paths were different, and our sugar compounds had different characteristics, the ones that closely resemble each other’s structure behaved similarly in experiments. I learned that I could save myself a lot of time by paying attention to and learning from others’ failures and successes.

 

My project was to synthesize a novel sugar product using a 13-step process. This wouldn’t have been a problem to complete in a year except that once I started the experiments I found each step had an average of only 30-50% yield, which meant by the time I got to step 6 I barely had enough compound to move forward. I only had four months left to finish my thesis and I was stuck on step 6. I had to repeat steps 1-6 over and over again to try to accumulate enough product. This slowed me down a lot. The bottleneck was the purification steps. Chemical reactions not only produce the product you desire but also a whole bunch of by-products that you need to remove before moving onto the next step. To purify, I ran my crude product slowly through a long vertical column packed with silica gel to carefully separate each chemical.

 

One day I passed by my labmate’s bench and was thoroughly confused. He was purifying his crude product using recrystallization. Without going into too much detail, recrystallization is much faster and easier than silica gel columns. All you do to recrystalize is dissolve your crude product in a right solution and wait for the pure product to crystalize out. Then you decant the left over solution that contains all the by-product junk.

 

But sugar compounds form a syrup and don’t usually recrystalize, so the only way to purify them is to run them through a silica gel column. When I asked my labmate about it, he said he found a research paper where they successfully recrystallized a sugar molecule and he was curious to see if it worked for him. After learning about the research paper I immediately went back to my bench and created five different test solutions to experiment recrystallization with. I dissolved my crude product in the five test solutions and left them overnight. The next morning I came back to find two of them had formed white crystals! I ran a test to see what these crystals were. It turned out the first solution’s crystals weren’t pure and it had a bunch of junk mixed in. But the second solution – the crystals were the pure desired compound! I was ecstatic! Once I found this method I purified all my crude compounds and accumulated so much material in no time, which easily allowed me to complete the rest of the steps of my project.

 

Keeping awareness of and keenly observing my surroundings allowed me to find the answer to my problem and complete my thesis successfully. Since then I’ve applied what I learned to all areas of my life. I have become a keen observer of people, methods, and procedures. I seek out the people who are doing what I want to do and follow them closely and try to learn from their successes as well as their failures.

 

Keen observation is how we learned when we were children – by observing and listening-in on activities of adults and other kids. Numerous studies in the behaviorist tradition have determined that observation can be very effective for learning (Abravanel & Ferguson 1998). For example, children can learn complex concepts – conservation, rules of games, categorization schemes, or rules of syntax – from modeled examples, without explanations (Zimmerman & Rosenthal 1974). Findings indicate that people learn from observing models on television and other media. For example, children are able to learn new vocabulary words after exposure to television stories that contained those words (Huston & Wright 1998). Learning through observation of television and other media, as well as with companions has been shown to be highly effective.

 

In our schooling much of this observation based learning is replaced by learning from textbooks and lectures and we often forego the power of  keen observations as we grow up. As adults, we have much to learn about a life well lived through observing other people’s habits and mindsets. Habits include behavior patterns, routines, and how one spends their time. And you can get a sense of people’s mindset by paying attention to how they talk about themselves or others, how they talk about obstacles, challenges, mistakes, and failures. Comparing their habits and mindset to how their lives unfold – how much satisfaction they have with themselves, at work, and in their relationships – can teach us lessons that take years to learn otherwise. Our habits and mindsets create our lives. If you like the direction of someone’s life, you can learn a lot about how they got there by paying attention.

 

There is also a lot of learning that can be achieved from observing others’ mistakes and failures. You do not have to make mistakes to learn from them, instead you can save a whole lot of time avoiding others’ mistakes. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”  If you see that a person is unhealthy and miserable, you can observe their habits and mindset to help you make different choices in your own life.

 

Keen observation is how the best world leaders have responded to the uncertainties of the COVID-19 pandemic, learning from the experiences of other countries and implementing strategies accordingly. A big part of becoming successful is not deciding what to do, but also what to avoid. With the same resources, knowledge, and opportunities, we can substantially expedite progress by remaining open to learning from not just our own experiences, but others as well. Keen observation holds the power to an exponential boost to our success.

Filed Under: Featured In Tagged With: life lesson, progress, success

Achieving Success

May 2, 2019 By Mehrnaz Bassiri

Failures, mistakes, not getting what you want
Is all part of life but it’s not what we’re taught

Stressing about results, you just want success
It all takes time, keep making progress

Failures happen, it’s how you overcome
Own your mistakes, don’t sweat the outcome

Choose to go through life outside your comfort zone
New things are uncomfortable, your anxiety’s full blown

That’s how you grow, it’s OK to fail
Just get back up, try and try again

Life is full of ups and downs
But stick with it, you’re in for a few rounds

Remember, before you achieve success
You must fully learn the process

Filed Under: Weekly Reflections Tagged With: achievement, poem, poet, poetry, progress

Why You Should Stop Calling Yourself an Expert

October 21, 2018 By Mehrnaz Bassiri

These days everyone is positioning themselves as the ‘experts’ in their fields. As long as we know a little bit more than the average person, we give ourselves permission to talk and act as if we know it all. The word ‘expert’ is carelessly thrown into bios and profiles, devaluing the integrity and the actual meaning of the word.

When I think of the word ‘expert,’ I think of someone who has continuously and rigorously studied their field for decades and has challenged their own thinking through trial and errors, collaboration with others, and years of experience working in the area. The irony is that often these people do not call themselves experts because the deeper they delved in and learned about their field, the more they realized just how much they don’t know.

Throwing the word ‘expert’ around as a way of faking it until making it is not only dishonest, it also has adverse effects on how we conduct ourselves with others and how we approach our mistakes. We become over-confident and start to actually believe that we are better than everyone else.

Adam Galinsky at Northwestern University studied the relationship between power and being able to see other people’s perspective. He divided the participants into two groups and before the experiment, the first group performed exercises that made them feel powerful. The second group partook in activities that emphasized their lack of power.

When they brought them into the experiment, they realized that those who got a sense of power became less able to see someone else’s point of view. The study found that there is an inverse relationship between how much power people feel and how open they are to perceive other’s perspective.

The heightened sense of power brings down our ability to be good listeners, perspective-seekers, and problem-solvers. We start shoving our opinions down other’s throats, become offended when our views are challenged, and hide our mistakes. We become closed off to criticism which halts our progress and stops our growth as individuals and professionals.

Pride and progress don’t go hand in hand. Seeing the world through our pride-filter clouds our judgment and compromises our thinking. We place ourselves above everyone else who is continuously learning, practicing, and working on improving their thinking and skills.

If we stay humble and grateful for learning opportunities, we will actively seek other’s perspectives, challenge our thinking, and own up to our mistakes. Our focus will shift from having to protect a fake identity to becoming better versions of ourselves day after day.

[ctt template=”2″ link=”fNC57″ via=”yes” ]Pride gets in the way of progress; humility accelerates it.[/ctt]

Filed Under: Weekly Reflections Tagged With: expert, humility, pride, progress

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